After putting down the phone Yatarth walked for a while on that road next to the apartment where he was staying. In the fine morning of June, in the clear sky of a summer morning, the sun rays were reaching the dry surface through that dense tree roof.
He always loved to see the sun's rays when they came through the gaps of leaves. Looking at those sunlight spots on his skin and road. And the silent piano music, which he always listens to, made the experience more heavenly than it actually, was.
Yatarth lingered there for some time until his mind started to roam on the memories which often upset him. He walked back to the apartment and climbed up to his current stay at the second-floor flat of his hometown friend.
Devansh, who had rented this flat, opened the door as Yatarth reached back at the flat. As he was taking off his footwear he saw that Hrishi was sleeping. He checked the time over his phone, it was 9:30 in the morning.
'He still hasn't woken up?' asked Yatarth.
'No.' answered Devansh and soon returned to his room, where his girlfriend had made her stay for the weekend, to see her beloved.
They all lived in Mumbai but only could meet each other on weekends. Yatarth thought the city is too big that it separated his friends within itself. Hrishi got the job in Andheri, Yatarth had his job location in Vashi, Devansh had work from home, while his office was in BKC and his girlfriend had her office in Thane. They all were separated on weekdays but over weekends they all have common rendezvous at Panvel.
'Would you get up now, you slimy git?' Yatarth hit a gentle kick on Hrishi's arse.
'Oh, sod off you prick, I travel to Andheri every day, I need to sleep.' answered Hrishi in his groggy voice.
'I'm hungry, let's go to Dwarka (a sweet shop) for breakfast.' whined Yatarth.
'Yeah...let me doze for 5 minutes.' answered Hrishi, his face on another side.
'You mean half an hour?'
'That's what my 5 minutes mean.' and he adjusted himself to a more comfortable sleeping position and went to full sleep again.
'How does he manage to get such peaceful sleep?' uttered Yatarth to himself, feeling envious of his friend and his peace with sleep, which Yatarth had lost a long time ago. He doesn't even recall when was the last time he had some good peaceful sleep. He woke up every morning and yet felt tired, the nightmares didn't let his mind be at peace even in his sleep. Maybe it wasn't the sleep he needed to get rid of his lethargy. Perhaps it wasn't even the physical exhaustion it was something else that was making him feel tired and bored.
He took a bath and got ready, when he was dressing up Hrishi finally got up and was checking his phone.
'Put that phone down and get ready, I'm starving you idiot.' squawked Yatarth.
'You won't die, don't be a baby.' Hrishi said while standing up and walking up to the bathroom. He stopped in the middle and looked at Yatarth, 'Oh, wait, you already are a dramatic baby.' He laughed to himself after roasting his friend.
Yatarth however was checking out the messages on Instagram, mostly the memes and reels from his friends. He liked some posts even without seeing them and skipped some. What held his attention most was the reply to his message from a girl with whom he was chatting for the last few weeks. That brought a delightful smile over his face. He typed back some messages to her and exited the message box. Fortuitously his sight captured a glimpse of Devansh and his girlfriend having a gig about something, a flashback hit him real quick. He looked away and searched for his book by the corner of his bed.
'Tomb of Sand' he read the book title to himself and continued reading the book. These days he had difficulty focusing on books, he would lose the track of the stories, yet he would go on. By the time he finished five pages, Hrishi was ready to go out.
'Finally.' Yatarth sighed with relief. He put the bookmark and closed the book.
'Devansh and Priya are also coming.' said Hrishi.
Yatarth simply nodded and went to the door, wore his footwear and walked out of the flat first. He was followed by Hrishi after a minute.
'Aren't they coming?' Yatarth asked him when they met again at the apartment gate.
'Locking the door.' answered Hrishi.
Soon they both joined them and those four headed towards the hotel for breakfast on that Sunday morning.
At 10:30 sun had started to show its heat effect, even walking for 10 min would make their clothes moistured with perspiration. And the mild complaints about the heat were going on while they were taking their walk to the breakfast point. Yatarth, however, was quiet and walking a bit ahead of everyone else. He soon put up earphones to cover up his 10 minutes walk with music rather than uncomfortable silence.
The odour of the garbage was often repulsive, every time they were passing by the area of little vegetable market on the way. The pace of their walk would promptly accelerate to avoid the odour. After passing some societies they all reached their usual breakfast place: Dwarka Sweets and Junk Food.
Hrishi placed his usual order for Edli-Vada-Sambhar. Yatarth settled with Medu Vada while Devansh and Priya went for Masala Dosa. Hrishi was quite mixed with Devansh and Priya, as he had known of their relationship for quite a long time, which Yatarth had figured out a couple of months back. He felt uncomfortable with them but he put up for Hrishi. He was the only close person he had in this new city. He just picked out his phone and played another piece of music, although he was so annoyed with repetitive ads on YouTube, which often killed his joy of listening to music.
Mostly the conversation took place among those three and Yatarth would act like his attention was on his phone. When he would look up from his phone he saw how Devansh, Priya and Hrishi were talking about something and had laughed over it. Something upset in Yatarth with that sight but he remained quiet.
Then they had Tea and Coffee, Yatarth was the only exception there who preferred coffee and never drank tea.
'You should get married now.' said Priya to Hrishi.
He laughed over it uncomfortably. 'There's some time. I need to get settled first.'
'How much more do you want to settle now?' wondered Priya. Devansh just laughed.
'Financially I am not at that point where I can bare the responsibility of a marriage.' answered Hrishi.
Yatarth just sniggered without letting anyone notice his mild involvement in the conversation.
Soon after their refreshments, they headed back to their abode. Devansh had his laptop to repair and for that, he was leaving for Belapur C.B.D. While Priya would be accompanying him and would return late evening.
As they both left within half an hour, Yatarth finally felt a bit comfortable opening up his mouth.
'You really gonna get married by the end of next year?'
Hrishi smirked in amusement. 'These days the topic of conversation is my marriage for the people around me.'
'I asked because it would impact me greatly.' defended Yatarth.
'Impact you?' Hrishi narrowed his eyes. 'How?'
Yatarth looked a bit lost and upset. 'I'd lose my best friend since the day he gets married.' he remembered the conversation with his mother.
Hrishi laughed, this time genuinely. 'My marriage won't sabotage our friendship.'
'Maybe not, but it will surely impact a lot many things. You wouldn't be... available for me.' Yatarth was getting uncomfortable directly talk how Hrishi's priority would change. 'Your priorities would change. I won't be your priority afterwards, it would be some woman. Ugh, our brotherhood would be over.'
'You are not my priority even now, ' answered Hrishi, annoyed with his childhood friend's usual drama.
It had stung Yatarth, 'I can't pretend that it hasn't offended me.'
'I can't pretend that you aren't a pain in my arse.'
Yatarth made face. Yet he didn't take any offence to the words of his friend, he knew that's how he always talks with him. He then dramatically walked towards Hrishi, held his both arms and shook them while talking, 'Don't succumb to the stupidity of a marriage, Hrishi. Be strong.'
'Sod off you lousy stupid.' Hrishi shrugged off his shoulders.
'Ah, my friend is already discarding me. Oh, I must lose the last friendship I have.'
'Don't be dramatic.' rebuked Hrishi.
Yatarth looked blankly at him. Then asked, 'Tell me how could I not my brother?'
'Yatarth.' Hrishi said in a grave voice, breaking out of the fun drama Yatarth was trying to pull off. 'You don't want me to get married because you are afraid that it would make you lose your only friend and then you would fall into an abyss of loneliness. There wouldn't be anyone left to be there for you when you need someone.'
Yatarth didn't put effort to hide his fear and let the funny persona drop and had serious expressions on his face. He was unusually quiet.
'You won't have this fear of loneliness if you allow...'
'I don't fear loneliness.' Yatarth said fiercely.
Hrishi got quiet for a moment and then looked at his friend observingly.
'Yes, you do Yatarth.' Hrishi's quiet, straight words hit Yatarth's heart like an arrow. He had mild tears in his eyes. He couldn't hide his pain.
'You know Priya asked me why you live so quiet and serious? Doesn't talk much with them, or even in the group whenever we go outside you always walk separately.' Hrishi was angry about his behaviour.
Yatarth stared back at him. The stare lasted for a few seconds then Yatarth answered, 'I feel uncomfortable around Priya and Devansh.'
'Why? Because they are a couple?' Hrishi was annoyed.
'Maybe.' answered Yatarth coldly.
'That's so mean of you.' said Hrishi feeling annoyed with Yatarth's reasons.
'Am I now?' he narrowed his eyes at his best friend and for a second wondered if his best friend is really the best?
'I hate how you have been behaving.' complained Hrishi.
'Well, the feeling is quite mutual.' nagged Yatarth sarcastically.
Hrishi was taken aback. He felt confused and clueless. He didn't understand what Yatarth was trying to point out.
'What do you mean? How my behaviour is not right?' he was deeply curious about the reason behind this accusation.
Yatarth sighed and shook his head in dismay like he couldn't believe he had to explain this to Hrishi.
'You three make quite a group.' Yatarth said ridiculing Hrishi.
He took some time to process Yatarth's nag. Yet all Hrishi could utter was, 'I don't understand.'
'Exactly. That has been quite an issue lately with you.' Yatarth hit his friend with a sharp nag.
'Are you upset seeing me sharing good bonding with them?' asked Hrishi.
'Ugh!' grunted Yatarth. 'No...Yes...but no.' Yatarth was putting too much effort to cover his shame.
'That is the reason. You feel like an outcast. That's why you are mad at me?' Hrishi accused him.
Yatarth was frustrated, 'No you idiot.' he yelled at him. 'I'm mad at you seeing how easily you became part of this group.' There was a short pause where both of them exchanged stares at each other. After a moment Yatarth talked,
'This wasn't the actual group, it was You, I and Mithali.' He fell weak to his long-suppressed sentiments. Yatarth was feeling a heavy gulp in his throat. He tried to talk anyway, 'Every time I see you three talking, laughing, having fun together, it reminds me of our group. When I and Mithali were in a relationship and you were there with us. We used to do such things together. Going out for food, visiting places, and having fun together. And now it's you, Priya and Devansh. When I look at you three, it reminds me of happiness, happiness which was supposed to be mine.' Yatarth looked at Hrishi with teary eyes.
Hrishi looked at his friend completely taken aback by the suffering he was realizing his friend was suffering quietly that he had failed to notice. He looked at him intensely. 'Yatarth, it's been three years now.' Hrishi was amazed to see how someone could still be in love with someone who has caused nothing but hurt to the very person.
'Don't you hate her after what she has done to you?' wondered Hrishi.
Yatarth sighed heavily and looked away from Hrishi, 'I hate her for what she has done but...' he couldn't put up what he was feeling and why should be feeling.
'but you still love her for what she was.' completed Hrishi.
Though it embarrassed Yatarth greatly yet he showed weak courage to admit his shame of still feeling some love for the girl who caused him great harm. Hrishi saw this flickering love in his eyes.
'How could you not hate her?' Hrishi was annoyed.
'I tried.' answered Yatarth. 'I couldn't' he answered vulnerably.
Hrishi saw a vulnerability in Yatarth. He had witnessed the destruction of his best friend. He was there when it all had happened. He was there when Mithali was breaking Yatarth's heart and leaving him. All his efforts to hold both of them together had failed horribly. This reminded him of his own failure too.
'Then you ask me why am I quiet around you three.' scoffed Yatarth.
'Because you are constantly trying to conceal your suffering.' completed Hrishi. He felt extremely worried for his friend. 'Yatarth, I beg you, you must allow yourself to get close with someone else. Perhaps, only then you would be out of this.'
'Would I?'
'I doubt that, knowing how stubborn you are.' Hrishi sighed.
'I tried Hrishi, I tried to let myself get close to someone else. But...'
'But what?'
'Every time I felt disgusted for my action knowing it's not her.'
'Yatarth, listen to me very carefully.' Hrishi was so worried, annoyed and yet truly concerned for his friend. 'You have been doing fantastically for the last two years. Finished your management studies, published two novels, made the globally available on reputed platforms, worked in a good company, and finally, your old weight is lifted from your heart, the weight of not being able to take care of your family. And look at you now.'
'Do you think I am taking care of Mum and Omnkar?' Yatarth asked gloomily yet too innocently.
'Of course, you are. Do you know how much they are relieved when they hear that you are okay? Adjusting well with people at your workplace, making new acquaintances, and mixing with new people.' Hrishi looked hopefully at him. 'And then suddenly this Mithali comes and takes away all your happiness, even the sense of doing something meaningful in life. What frustrates me is how she is not even here and yet so able to impact your life this much. Gosh! Why did you even love that girl this much?'
'Because she loved me for my parts which I could love myself for.' That honest answer subdued Hrishi. 'For the first time in my life, I felt like someone could love me for who I really am. Today these people praise me, congratulate me, cheer for me, but she, she cheered for me when I was nobody, she believed in me when I didn't, she had faith in the future and now I am actually living that future and yet among all these people, my heart seeks her and I don't know why.'
'Because she wasn't there to see it all and deep down you want her to see how you have turned things around.' sighed Hrishi.
'That proud Patil sir didn't see it all either.' Yatarth tried to suppress his suffocation. Hrishi felt weak too. He knew Yatarth's relationship with his late father. Since childhood he was nothing but a disappointment to his father, for the last 19 years he struggled to prove himself and when he finally did, his father wasn't there to see it all.
Yatarth never got the closure he deserved, not from his beloved Mithali nor his father. Perhaps his wounds were too deep than Hrishi's capabilities to comfort him. All he could do was be there for his friend. Keep an eye on him, silently, like a guardian angel, like a brother. He wished he could alleviate his friend's suffering but he knew very well, that he was incapable of that. Nothing could have influenced Yatarth, nobody was able to change that adamant mind of his.
All at this moment, Hrishi prayed for someone's arrival in his friend's life, someone who could heal his friend. Wondered where that person would be?
